From Beginning to End!

Really? Has a month already gone by? I feel like I've neglected this space a little - I had been doing so well with my commitment to once a week. Life has had a way of doing that recently! Anyway, here I am now. 

Today I was able to finally step away from a painting I've been working on for QUITE some time and stepping back and seeing it finished is such a good feeling. It is so interesting to recall some of the challenges and 'points of transformation' (e.g. aka 'creative blocks', 'frustration', 'AH-CRAP-moments', 'resistance') I experienced over that time and to look back at some of the photos I had captured as the painting evolved. I don't think I've ever done this but I thought I would show you the process from beginning to finish! I tend to only show certain images along the way - leaving out the messier more 'ugly' phases (the 'I-wanna-throw-it-in-the-bin' phases)... but each layer has played a part in how this painting has come together and so maybe there is something in showing that too. 

Here is where I started - a wood panel, some old papers and fluid acrylics! These are always the best layers because it really doesn't matter what it looks like. Literally ANYthing can happen from this point on (you'll see) and there is not much likelihood that anything on these first layers will be seen in the end. This creates a huge amount of freedom. And perhaps (actually, most certainly) because of this often in these first few layers I come across 'happy accidents', discoveries that would otherwise be impossible.

These 'happy accidents' may come in the form of colour combinations, textures, marks, different ways to use various objects, how different mediums interact with one another...anything.

As much as I try to not let it happen, it is pretty much guaranteed that at some point I start becoming a little attached to certain things on the canvas. This can be a hard phase to push through, and really limiting! For this particular painting I recall that the first time (there were many) was the phase between the image above and the image below that I first got 'stuck'. Sometimes I may not even know what it is I'm so attached to...but I somehow find myself unable to move forward. This is the point of transformation...(and here I can often hear Flora's lovely reminders to LET GO and to BE BRAVE!). It is at this point that you commit to something new, you make a

choice to move forward despite whatever resistance might be stopping you......

And...you might not like it, either. At this point I committed to new colours and added in whatever image came to mind first. And I didn't like it. How is this for honest? I struggled to not be mad at the painting, mad at myself...before I got to the next point of transformation. If you don't like it....let it go. It sounds simple, right? And it is....it is just that the perfectionist in me doesn't like to work that way all the time - and who does? Who likes to have to go through the ugly phases? The perfectionist in me wants it to work now and more than that, wants to know where the hell this painting is going - NOW. Ahhh. This is such a constant lesson for me...and I really shouldn't be surprised when it eventually does all come together and work out. 

Now...here is where I paused......

.....for a r.e.a.l.l.y long time. I added a few little things...tentatively. 

I refused to admit that....again.....I was attached, stuck. I liked 'lots of little bits' all over the canvas but nothing all together. How frustrating. (Does this happen to you?). When the image of a girl started emerging there was that part of me that was so happy to be feeling a stronger sense of 'direction'. Yet, I was stuck? No, seriously? And then I added circles above her head (I didn't like that either) and that's when I stopped. Again. 

This painting really just sat there for quite some time...and while I contemplated what to do with it, I didn't do anything.

Until Winter Magic.

AH....talk about a weekend full of inspiration! Music, dancing, laughing, dressing up in headdresses and tutus (yes, I know) and just having the best time BEing just about sums it up I guess, well the best I can without rambling on for another hour anyway. I can't believe it was the first year I went! It was exactly what I was needing at that time to open myself up again creatively (and spiritually) - it would be hard not to when you're in a place where pretty much anyone and anything goes. Plus I had my beautiful friend to share it all with (actually, I wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for her excellent persuasiveness - one of the things I love about her!!)...

ANYWAY. The point I'm getting to? I came back refreshed and with a whole new source of inspiration within... and finally I was un-stuck from my negative 'mucky-ness'. I made a whole new commitment to this painting and the energy that came out was v.e.r.y different....

The two images began to almost reflect one another... two elements of the same. As my friend noted at around the point I took the above photo: "As above, so below". 

Of course, after falling in love with shape and pattern even more in Bali, this also began to come through more and more in this painting. I love that I've been able to combine that with some of the things I was doing before to create something that is new for me. I've always incorporated pattern and shape but probably in a less emphasised way (?). Anyway.....this is what happened.

At this point there was a lot happening in the whole painting - it was feeling pretty hectic and busy. This is the point I was at today, and so I spent time trying to find more balance and harmony. This can be such a difficult phase sometimes because it can be scary to add anything new, but at the same time often adding something or altering something will bring the whole painting into more harmony! I also felt like the second image (in the left corner) was really un-finished so I added some more detail and definition to her, still trying to keep her a little 'rough' (or at least less defined than the other image). You can't really see in these pictures but I added some iridescent silvery highlights on the face and a few smaller details along the eyes, earrings etc...

And here it is, finished!

"As above, so below"

Peace, Love, Joy and Gratitude

xxx